


i woke all in white.

by doctorwodka



Series: the shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn. [2]
Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Airships, Cuddling & Snuggling, Drinking, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Meeting the Parents, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-19
Updated: 2020-11-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,169
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26481703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doctorwodka/pseuds/doctorwodka
Summary: Illumi gives a small scowl, quickly bringing his hands up to his lover's chest and moves to push him away. The shove doesn’t come, but his hands do not move. Under his hand, he can feel the steady beating of Hisoka’s heart.“Don’t make me regret bringing you, Hisoka,” Illumi says quietly, staring intently at him. “I can marry you without you there.”All the magician does is laugh at this, and Illumi’s own heart stutters at the sound.
Relationships: Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck
Series: the shrike to your sharp and glorious thorn. [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1915405
Comments: 6
Kudos: 328





	1. i heard it from the aisle of the cathedral.

**Author's Note:**

> this can be read as standalone or with the previous piece "i want to be your what's happening."! preferably it would make a liiitle more sense with the previous piece, but this mostly just references bits from that one so this is fine to read alone :)

Illumi's phone buzzes from where he had set it on the nightstand.

It rings once, twice, before a muscled arm reaches over his lover’s sleeping form and picks it up. The caller ID is blank, but the time reads 2:13AM in bright characters. In bed, all that is seen of the Zoldyck's eldest child is the long strands of black hair that managed to peek up from under the comforter that had been thrown up and over his head for him to bury into. Hisoka can feel his fiancé’s deep and warm breaths on his side, carefully controlled even in sleep.

With a small amused hum, Hisoka presses the green answer button on the screen and brings the phone up to his ear.

“Illumi,” says the voice on the other end, gruff and deep, before Hisoka could answer. Amusement makes his eyes crinkle, and suddenly he’s very glad that he has managed to bed the eldest Zoldyck son if he was blessed with this singular moment. “You have an assignment. Milluki is going to-”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” purrs the magician, relaxing deep into the plush blankets that Illumi had insisted be kept on the bed. “He’s asleep right now. It’s rather late, you know, and he’s been… quite  _ busy _ . Care to leave a message?”

There’s a pause on the other end of the line. Illumi barely stirs under the blankets, truly out like a light and far deeper in slumber than Hisoka would ever imagine from someone who has spent his entire life being trained to stay on edge. It was  _ cute _ .

“Who is this?” Daddy Dearest finally says, and you could almost hear the way his voice steels in response. Hisoka chuckles, warm and light as he brings up a free hand to look at his nails in the dim light of the moon that shone through their window.

“Hm? I could have sworn that he’s mentioned me before to you." A slender finger comes up and taps at his lips, amusement clear as day in his voice. "It would be rude if he hadn’t. I'm quite important to him, after all.”

There’s another pause, and then an annoyed sigh. “Is this the  _ clown _ he insists on associating with?”

“ _ Magician _ ,” Hisoka pouts, “but  _ yes _ , that’s me. Hisoka. I’m sure you’re charmed. Now, would you like me to pass on a message for when—”

The phone is snatched out of his hand before he can even react, and all the older man can do is grin impishly at his bleary eyed bedmate.

“Dad?” Illumi mumbles into the receiver, voice low and scratchy from sleep. The hair at the base of his skull has a very clearly formed knot from his shifting under the blankets, which ruffles up his normally careful appearance. The shirt he had “borrowed” from his fiancé to sleep in, something old from before Hisoka had fully filled out in the past few years, was still too broad in the shoulders for the assassin and almost made him look small. Hisoka giggles at him, and the assassin sends him a blank look in return. The older man just looks like the cat who got the cream. “What are you calling at this hour for?”

Even from where Hisoka laid, he could hear Silva Zoldyck clear as day, his voice much sterner than a few moments ago. “What are you doing with him? I thought we agreed you would be living alone in your time between assignments.”

Illumi just sort of blinks, a small frown on his face. “I… am well into being an adult. I didn’t think that I had to get your approval of who I spend my time outside of missions with, and I’m still within the continent. I am not the heir, and he isn’t—"

"You are an assassin, Illumi, a  _ Zoldyck _ . That means you cannot...  _ associate  _ with men like him. We have a reputation to uphold," Silva cuts him off with obvious disdain, "which is clearly something that none of my sons seem to understand. Come back to the estate. You—"

"Dad," Illumi cuts him off in return, an especially odd thing coming from someone like him. His free hand clutches the bedding hard, something he seems to not realize he's doing until he feels Hisoka tap it with a long finger nail.

Glancing down, he sees that the… probably rather expensive comforter was threatening to tear, and Illumi frowns, letting go of it slowly. The magician offers the other his hand, and without a second thought, Illumi takes it.

"He is my fiancé. We also have a contract in place."

There is a long stretch of silence from the other end of the phone line. 

"Come home," Silva eventually says, voice low but carefully controlled. "We will discuss this… engagement after you've gotten your assignment."

The line goes dead, but Illumi stares at the bedding, the phone still up to his ear. He barely processes when Hisoka carefully takes the piece of technology away from him, blinking his large eyes at the man. After a long moment, he slowly releases his grip on the magician's hand, which has left slight half-circle indentations from his nails.

The Zoldyck moves to push himself out of bed, obeying his father’s demands, but Hisoka’s far too gentle voice stops him in his place.

"Illu, you don’t have to go just yet. You can leave in the morning. It’s too early to leave."

The assassin’s head is swimming, but the murmured words ground him, making Illumi nod and settle back into their shared bed, where Hisoka pulls him to his exposed chest. Sudden exhaustion spreads throughout the younger’s body, and he gradually melts into the warmth of the other, tension seeping out of him in waves.

Hisoka slowly brushes his fingers through his lover’s raven hair, carefully avoiding the knot in it. A small frown plays at his lips.

“Hisoka,” murmurs the assassin, and the magician lifts his head slightly to glance down at Illumi. The two make direct eye contact, and there is something dark there, making Hisoka’s own  _ Nen _ jump at the bloodlust that seeps out from his lover’s aura.

“You’re coming home with me, and you  _ will  _ behave around my family.”

Hisoka’s eyebrows raise slightly, the forced amusement clouding the arousal in his voice at the deadly serious aura that makes his head swim from how stuffy it made the room. “And if I don’t behave?”

Illumi doesn’t even blink. “If you don’t, I will not marry you, and our contract will become null,” he says, and then pauses for a split second. “Also, don’t touch my phone again. I don’t care if I’m sleeping, you’re not going to have a hand left if you touch it.”

Hisoka groans, tilting his head and giving Illumi a predatory grin. From where the assassin laid, he could more than easily slice the magicians jugular or stab him in the heart with those talons he rarely brought out. It was an enticing thought, truly, to bring his lover closer and closer to killing him.

“ _ Fine _ , but don’t  _ tempt  _ me like that. I may just take you up on that offer. We haven’t fought in  _ so _ long, you know.”

Illumi scoffs, but after a long moment, only moves to bury his face into the conjunction of his fiancé’s shoulder, arm thrown fully over Hisoka’s chest possessively. The magician shifts to accommodate his new positioning, letting out a huff of annoyance at his lover’s lack of true response.

“Disgusting,” the assassin eventually murmurs, voice soft in Hisoka’s ear as his aura slowly diminishes back into a state of  _ Ten _ . “Remind me: why haven’t I killed you yet?” 

“I’m fun to keep around,” Hisoka chuckles, rubbing small circles into his lover’s back. Illumi makes a doubtful noise in the back of his throat, eyes fluttering shut.

After a long few minutes, he adds as a murmur, “You’re also rather  _ possessive _ of the things you love, Illu. You don’t like to give them up.”

He is sure Illumi is asleep, and yet the assassin lets out a soft sigh and settles fully into this sleeping position. 

* * *

Seven AM rolls around, and Hisoka finds himself alone in bed and the smell of coffee wafting through their suite. The side of the bed that the magician had not been sleeping on was as neatly made as it could be with Hisoka still asleep. On top of the bedding rested the folded shirt Illumi had been sleeping in.

He glances around their shared bedroom, searching for his fiancé in the warm morning light. At first glance, it seems entirely  _ Hisoka _ , with his bright splashes of color and knicknacks placed around the room at random. However, when you look closer, you can see the influences of Illumi; bright yellow needles are strewn and forgotten about on different pieces of furniture, and his family’s Japanese upbringing is shown through traditional pieces of art that Illumi had been enamored with and Hisoka had bought as gifts.

There is no sign of his lover, but he knows, instinctively, that he had not left already.

As Hisoka rises out of bed with a stretch, he extends his  _ En _ , fully searching the area for-  _ Ah _ . There he is. He can see Illumi in his mind’s eye, sitting on the couch with, presumably, a cup of coffee held in his hands. The assassin is seemingly zoned out in thought. His head, however, twitches in the direction of their bedroom, and Hisoka grins at knowing that he’s making Illumi wait for him while he gets ready.

With this in mind, the magician strips and goes to shower in the ensuite bathroom. The smell of Illumi’s eucalyptus shampoo combined with Hisoka’s vanilla body wash is strong in the small room.

Over half an hour later, Hisoka finds himself stepping out of their shared bedroom. His hair is gelled back, and he wears one of his standard white crop top and sweats combinations with a dark purple undershirt.

He notices that Illumi was also fully dressed, his sleep clothes discarded sometime earlier to be replaced with a sleeveless maroon sweater and jeans. His long hair was pulled into a high ponytail, and Hisoka absently stores in the back of his head that he should ask him to pull his hair back more often.

For scientific reasons, of course.

At least it his outfit didn’t have the flame pants. So many things were better than those damn flame pants, and that’s  _ rich _ coming from Hisoka.

When his fiancé looks up at his presence, however, the look of distaste is almost comical on his face as he looks his lover up and down. 

“You’re not wearing that to see my parents,” he says, and Hisoka’s eyebrows skyrocket as he grins.

“Why not? I thought you  _ loved  _ the way I dressed.”

Illumi scoffs at this. “I tolerate the way you dress. There’s a difference.”

Hisoka just hums, stepping over to behind the couch and snatches the mug from the assassin’s grasp before he can protest. He leans over the back of the couch, uncomfortably close to the other. Illumi is clearly fighting the urge to bring out his  _ Nen _ needles.

“That’s odd,” he says, amusement laced in his voice, “because I distinctly remember the fact that you  _ frequently _ take  _ my _ tops and shove  _ needles _ into them.”

He takes a long sip of the lukewarm drink, eyes crinkling at the familiar sweetness of their shared creamer, before continuing, “So much so that I’ve had to put you in contact with  _ my _ tailor because you looked ridiculous in them otherwise. Remember that?”

The assassin just stares at him unblinking for a long moment before he stands up, making Hisoka lean back to not get knocked into. He rummages around in his pocket before producing a set of keys, of which he tosses to his lover. Hisoka catches it mid-air with a satisfying jingle.

“The airship leaves in forty minutes,” Illumi says, expression unreadable. “We're leaving soon, unless you want  _ me  _ to drive.”

Hisoka absolutely did  _ not _ want Illumi to drive, but he doesn’t let the comment affect him.

“What? We’re not going to have breakfast first?” the older man smirks, and  _ oh _ , if looks could  _ kill. _

* * *

The two days in the air were, honestly, not the  _ most  _ enjoyable for Illumi. After confirming his flight with his brother, the eldest Zoldyck turned his phone off and was forced to be subjected to his fiancé’s….  _ Everything _ .

He almost regretted accepting their contract.

Almost.

“Illumi, dear, I have a question,” Hisoka purrs, sliding into a seat next to his lover during that first night in the air. In his hands, he has two brightly colored drinks in cocktail glasses, one of which he offers to the younger man. They sit at one of the windows, only one or two other people milling about behind them due to the time of night and the aura of the two murderers. 

Illumi just looks at him blankly, but takes the offered drink regardless. He sips, noting the fruity taste that lingers on his tongue. It wasn’t  _ bad _ by any stretch of the imagination, but if Hisoka was trying to get him drunk, it would take more of these than he had money on hand for.

“What,” the assassin eventually sighs, and with his free hand, he absently pushes a section of hair that had escaped his ponytail out of his eyes.

Hisoka sets his own drink down on the table nearby, entwining his fingers and resting his chin on top of them.

“I was just thinking,” he hums, tilting his head this way and that, “about whether or not your parents were…  _ aware  _ about your preferences in partners. Silva certainly seemed surprised at our engagement.”

Illumi blinks owlishly at him.

“I have never kept my sexual preferences a secret,” the assassin says, as if that were the obvious answer. Hisoka straightens and turns to him, raising an eyebrow.

“And you never…?”

A pause. The magician reaches out and takes a long sip of his drink. Illumi sets his own drink down in response.

“I never what?”

Hisoka frowns lightly as he considers the man before him.

“Nothing,” he eventually sighs, moving his gaze from Illumi to the view from one of the many windows of the airship. The Mimbo Republic sprawls out below them, and Hisoka nearly feels small in comparison. After a long moment, he adds with a hum, “I just can’t imagine they will be pleased about marrying us.”

Illumi stares at his fiancé with a small frown, confusion written upon his face.

“Mom will be thrilled about the wedding, even if she doesn't like you. She’s been encouraging me to marry for some time now, and marrying you would certainly be preferred to marrying someone they place me with.”

Hisoka blinks at the slight distaste in the other’s tone, surprised, before grinning wide. He leans in, and Illumi begrudgingly allows the other to kiss him for a moment. The magician lingers, his voice quiet and his breath warm on the assassin’s face.

“How  _ sweet _ . I love you, too, Illu.”

Illumi gives a small scowl, quickly bringing his hands up to his lover's chest and moves to push him away. The shove doesn’t come, but his hands do not move. Under his hand, he can feel the steady beating of Hisoka’s heart.

“Don’t make me regret bringing you, Hisoka,” Illumi says quietly, staring intently at him. “I can marry you without you there. Forging a marriage certificate is not out of the question, and it is much easier than planning a wedding.”

All the magician does is laugh at this, and Illumi’s own heart stutters at the sound. A weakness like Hisoka was… detrimental if it ever got too out of hand.

Illumi desperately hoped neither Hisoka nor his heart went that far. He still had a contract to worry about, after all.

The assassin soon sighs, pressing another begrudging kiss to Hisoka’s lips before pulling away. The magician frowns lightly as Illumi downs his drink and stands, leaving the empty glass at the table. Hisoka raises an eyebrow at him.

“I’m going to sleep,” Illumi answers the unspoken question, turning to leave. He pauses before bringing his hands up and pulls out the hair tie that kept his hair up. After a long moment, he calls over his shoulder, “Milluki got us a..  _ couple’s ensuite _ for our flight home. I assume my father spoke to him and arranged it. You’re free to come to bed whenever.”

Hisoka leans his head into his hand, a small grin on his lips. “You’re inviting me to bed, Illu?”

Illumi does not bother to turn around and just starts walking away as he calls back. “Or you can continue to drink and sleep here. I don’t care where you spend your night. Just don’t wake me if you return to the room.”

Hisoka spends another thirty minutes enjoying the view before joining his lover.

Illumi, buried partially under the covers, doesn’t say anything when Hisoka slides partially dressed into bed, but the assassin does allow his lover to pull him back against his chest. He can feel the soft rumble of Hisoka’s chuckle.

Hisoka is slowly lulled to sleep by the soft scent of eucalyptus, and Illumi counts the other’s breaths until he, too, is lulled asleep.


	2. baby, i was gonna break your heart.

“I may need to kill them.”

Illumi’s admission is flat, accompanied with a small frown. While it was true that killing during internal conflicts was banned, and he really wouldn't directly wish harm upon his parents, there is a sick part of him that wants to see Silva and Kikyo Zoldyck suffer. The brush that is being used to slowly detangle the assassin's raven hair does not hesitate in its mission.

There's a pause from Hisoka, his hand holding his makeup brush lowering slightly. The magician hadn’t thought that Illumi would offer it first, though the thought of killing the Zoldyck parents to anger Illumi had crossed his mind several times. Golden eyes slide over and make eye contact with dark ones, and he raises an eyebrow.

“What makes you say that?” Hisoka asks with a hum as he returns to painting on his teardrop. "I thought your mother was going to be  _ thrilled _ at marrying her son off. That  _ is _ what you had said, you know." 

That makes Illumi pause, if only for a split second. What  _ could _ he say? That he reevaluated the situation? That if Hisoka asked for full protection he would give it? That he felt _ emotions _ towards this clown that he didn't know how to process outside of  _ obsession _ and  _ possession _ ?

"They may try to have me kill you before we can get married, purely over that they won’t like that none of their children may not continue the family name." The lie comes easy enough, and he tucks an annoying strand of hair behind his ear. “With Killua and Alluka gone, Kalluto off with the Spiders, Milluki never leaving his room–"

“–The only child left to produce an heir is the one that hadn’t planned on having children in the first place.”

Hisoka gives Illumi a knowing look over his shoulder through the mirror.

The observation digs into Illumi, though, making him frown.

He isn't…  _ wrong _ , per se. Illumi was certainly  _ fine  _ raising children, he practically raised almost all of his younger siblings, after all. But the idea of the children being his own… well. Wasn’t the most pleasant of thoughts.

“Well, if they’re insistent enough, you could always whore yourself off to another assassin, please Mommy and Daddy that way,” the magician says, waving his freehand over his shoulder as Illumi scoffs at this. “Or you could go into Greed Island, though it’s not as  _ fun _ as you would expect. You can’t kill if you want to win.”

Illumi blinks at his lover.

“That Hunter game? Why would I–”

“–There’s a card that makes you pregnant if you bring it back,” Hisoka cuts him off with an annoying grin. After a pause, he barks out a laugh. “Though, I can’t  _ imagine  _ seeing you pregnant; I don’t think either of us have the patience for it,  _ or  _ the motherly instincts, for that matter. Honestly, you with  _ any _ children is–”

A needle flies past his fiancé’s head and imbeds itself into the wooden wall next to the mirror.

Hisoka blinks, meets Illumi's gaze through the mirror.

“...You missed.”

The assassin's eye twitches, and he goes back to meticulously brushing his hair.

“It was on purpose. Next time I won’t.”

The silence stretches on between the two killers. Eventually, the speakers outside their room crackle alive, and a voice cuts through it.

" _ This is Captain Tava speaking. We'll be arriving at our destination within the next hour and a half. Make sure you're ready to disembark! _ "

Illumi sighs, trying to work through a knot in his hair with his fingers before resorting back to his brush. Hisoka tucks away his makeup in a small bag and finally turns to smirk at him. 

"And say we were going to kill them to prevent these issues–"

"–The goal isn't to kill them," the assassin quickly cuts him off. Hisoka's smirk turns into a pout. "It's a last minute resort should they… deem you a threat to the family in the long term."

"That's a shame," Hisoka bemoans.

He stands up, stretching his muscles before moving and climbing on top of their bed just to settle in front of Illumi. His voice is closer to a purr when he continues his voice in a murmur, "You already  _ know _ I'm a threat."

Illumi blinks blankly at him.

"Let's not let them know that, then."

There's a long few minutes of silence, with the two men looking at each other. Hisoka's expression turns to amusement, and he leans forward to press a kiss to Illumi's lips, taking the brush from the assassin's hand. He gets another blank blink when he pulls away, but the magician just grins.

"Do you want me to braid your hair before we disembark?" Hisoka asks, slowly waving the brush around.

There's another small beat and, eventually, a glare from his lover.

"...Yes," Illumi eventually grits out. "That would be... nice."

The magician laughs, loud and warm and  _ far _ too close for comfort. But Hisoka can't help it; he brings something out in Illumi nowadays that he's not sure that even the assassin himself understands. He's not even sure Illumi could even put a name to his emotions before he met Hisoka.

"All you needed to do was  _ ask _ , Illu."

He definitely was going to need to kill Hisoka as soon as this marriage was completed.

* * *

Hisoka had heard rumors about the Zoldyck estate, but the mountain alone was quite the massive display of confidence. It made the Zoldycks themselves seem overly cocky with their lack of visible security, but given what he knew about Illumi's upbringing, it  _ did _ track.

But what annoyed him was his own fiancé.

"Open the doors," Illumi says, dark eyes watching the magician carefully. He had noted early on where today's pack of cards were hidden, as well as the various cards stuck to his body with Bungee Gum and disguised through Texture Surprise. It wasn't like he wasn't aware of how easily Hisoka could kill him at any given moment, and their… newfound closeness of the past few months had revealed quite a bit.

Behind them, a group of tourists chattered about, taking pictures of the giant gate that kept them off of the Zoldyck's property.

"...Pardon?"

"Open the doors," he repeats. "Each door is doubled the weight of the previous, starting at two tons. My parents would never allow me to marry someone who can't at least open the same number of doors as Kil."

The magician smirks, raises an eyebrow.

"And how many can  _ you _ open, Illu?" he asks almost innocently. Illumi is silent as he steps forward, and with the barest of effort, shoves open six of the seven doors. Some tourists nearby gasp loudly, the clicking of camera shutters coming almost immediately.

As the doors slowly inch back to being shut on their own, Hisoka has to blink away his own surprise. The assassin just watches him expectantly.

" _ Ah _ . I see."

Illumi silently steps away from the doors, and Hisoka has to internally grimace before stepping into his lover's previous spot. With a small hum, he gives a slight push to test the doors, and only the smallest budges. The magician then gears himself up and pushes forward.

It takes a moment, but he does follow through. Six large doors slowly creek open, and he can feel the sweat drip down the back of his neck and his forehead. There's one last final shove of getting them open, and he would swear Illumi made a noise of approval as he steps past his lover onto Kukuroo Mountain.

Hisoka eyes the path up the mountain distastefully.

"And you're sure there's no other way up the mountain?” he asks, glancing down at their choices of footwear. "I wasn’t expecting the famous  _ Zoldyck assassins _ had to  _ walk  _ home.”

Illumi pauses, raising an eyebrow at his companion.

“Are you really complaining about knowing how to enter the estate?”

Before he can respond, there's a deep growl to their right, and Hisoka has to blink as two dark eyes begin to peer at him through the treeline several feet above the two men. It's hard to tell what it is, but between the leaves it almost looks… canine.

"Mike," calls Illumi, stepping towards the giant figure. The light shifts through the leaves, and suddenly the giant creature is flopping down in front of the two men with a large  _ thud _ . With his dark fur and dark, knowing eyes, Mike is enormous, and easily one of the largest non-wild creatures that Hisoka has seen in a long while. In some way, it reminds the magician of the eldest Zoldyck child.

And Illumi is reaching up to pet it's snout while it stares at Hisoka.

"I raised and trained him," Illumi says matter-of-factly, scratching under the canine's chin. The giant dog gives a soft grumble of contentment, shifting his attention momentarily to his master. "My father thought it was good training for me before fully investing in me training Kil. Mike hasn't let us down yet."

The magician swallows hard as Mike shifts his attention from Illumi to Hisoka once more. He watches the dog's nostrils flare, and he's more than certain that this creature is memorizing everything that it can ascertain from his senses about the clown. 

Illumi finally turns his own attention to Hisoka.

"Enter through the Testing Gate and Mike will never hurt you," he says, and the magician fully believes him. There's something in that canine's eyes that show far too many thoughts.

After a long moment, Illumi sighs and turns back to their path. Something new seems to cloud up the younger man's aura, almost imperceptibly, and it makes Hisoka  _ curious _ .

"Let's go. Dad is waiting."

As if in preparation for the climb, Hisoka reaches into his pocket and retrieves a piece of chewing gum, unwrapping it without any care and shoving the trash into his pocket.

He offers Illumi a piece. The look of distaste Hisoka gets in return makes him crack up, while Illumi himself does not seem to find it funny.

* * *

It’s a long walk to the front of the Zoldyck mansion. Hisoka tries to keep up a bit of conversation, but each time he does, it slowly dies out as Illumi refuses to continue it.

Illumi’s  _ anxious _ . 

It’s hard to tell that it’s anxiety in the first place, but it’s not a good look for him. His calm demeanor struggles to keep his antsiness under wraps, and it leaves the magician baffled at how an assassin of his caliber got anxious over talking about his fiancé with his parents. The closer and closer they get to his childhood home, the more he clearly has to control himself.

It’s almost endearing that Illumi allows him to see him like this.

The two are met at the front door by Amane well over an hour after starting their trek. Illumi has finally seemed to visibly shut out his anxiety, but the butler's own carefully controlled expression at seeing the eldest Zoldyck turns sour at the sight of Hisoka.

Ah. A grudge. How… quaint.

The magician looks smug in return as he slowly blows up a bubble and pops it. She bristles up at it, but keeps her voice professional when she addresses the young master.

"Master Illumi, your father told me to expect you. Would you like me to… show your guest to a spare room?"

Illumi glances at his partner before sighing. He didn’t  _ want _ to leave Hisoka alone, but given the circumstances, he didn’t have much choice in the matter.

"Yes. The room on the west side, near mine. Don't leave him alone until I return."

The assassin watches the two leave, and his eye twitches at the way Hisoka puts a sway into his step as if he knows Illumi is watching him. The redhead glances over his shoulder and  _ winks _ , and it takes every ounce of willpower for Illumi to not send a needle flying his way.

With a soft release of air, he turns away and towards his destination.

He’s not sure how it will go, honestly. It’s not out of the question that he may need to kill his parents if something goes horribly, horribly wrong, but it’s doubtful that it’ll be necessary. If anything, he’s not entirely sure he can take down both on his own.

Illumi hesitates outside his father’s room. The door is closed, and inside, he can almost imagine feeling his parents’ auras if they weren’t constantly in a state of  _ In  _ at home.

Growing up, this room was forbidden to Illumi outside of business. It was Silva’s private quarters, one that the head of the household held off limits to everyone but his own wife and guard dogs.

Maybe, if Illumi had been heir, he would be allowed to spend time with his father there. Maybe if he had worked harder for them. Maybe if he had been born with Killua’s white hair and his father’s eyes, if he wasn’t just lithe and dark-haired like his mother.

But Killua was named heir when he wasn’t even three years old, stripping Illumi of the hope of being head of the household through age alone.

When Illumi pushes open the doors, he sees them: Silva sits there on his silks and pillows, a proud lion in his den. Kikyo hovers about, her anxiety palpable even to Silva's guard dog, who slumbers nearby. The large canine cracks open an eye to watch Illumi enter and stand in the center of the room, and Kikyo’s head snaps to his son in an instant.

"Oh,  _ Illumi _ ," cries his mother, surging forward and cupping his face with her hands. The younger assassin stiffens as she turns his head this way and that, her  _ Gyo  _ flaring up around her visor as if she would see some sort of  _ Nen  _ surrounding him. 

As if Hisoka would resort to learning a (near useless) manipulation  _ Nen  _ ability just to control Illumi. His actions are his own.

"I can't  _ believe _ this. You want to get married? To that- that  _ clown _ ? And your hair — did  _ he _ do this to you? You have to let your hair out of that braid, it's just not  _ you. _ "

Illumi simply blinks down at her. In the back of his mind, her words bug him, but he ignores her comment on his hair. It was her that wanted him to grow it out in the first place, after all, but she had no claim on what’s to be done to it. He’s almost tempted to chop it all off if she becomes insistent on how it’s to be maintained.

"It's... not simply quite a matter of want," he starts blankly, and Kikyo drops his face with a gasp as if it burnt her. He almost wishes it had. "I will get married to him. We already have a contract in place–"

"–A contract that wasn't created with my permission."

Silva speaks up, and Illumi stiffens up further in front of the elder Zoldyck. His father crosses his arms, blue eyes squinting to look his child up and down. Presumably, the assassin was noting the needles that stuck through Illumi's belt, as well as the several discrete spots where they were stuck where they would not affect his biology. Notably, the few that were kept in place in the thick braid.

Illumi's hand itches, and he wishes he had grabbed the rest of his needles before he had entered the room.

"We had decided that I'm able take up my own contracts if they didn't interfere with the missions you assign me."

Silva scoffs. "You presume this marriage wouldn't interfere with your missions?"

The younger blinks, tips his head slightly in what could almost be considered confusion.

"It wouldn't, no. I  _ have  _ considered all of the possible interferences, and in all cases, I've decided that marrying Hisoka would be a good investment," Illumi begins, as if it’s the easiest decision he’s made in years. "He's based in Heaven's Arena as a Floor Master. Clearly, he doesn't require protection from me, and he has connections to the Phantom Troupe. And as a sexual partner, he—"

Kikyo blanches while Silva’s expression darkens, which Illumi quickly takes as his cue to silence himself. It's a long few moments before Silva speaks up again, and Illumi is hyper aware of the needles that dig into his toughened skin.

"Do you.. value him over us?"

The eldest child blinks, tips his head slightly to the side. What a strange question. Could anyone put value onto something over their own blood?

Well. Killua and Alluka did, actually.

Strange.

He’s not sure he actually wants to consider their point of view in this sort of situation, but it weighs in the back of his mind.

"No."

Cat eyes meet visor, and the two older assassins seem to share a silent conversation. After a second, Silva returns his attention back to their son, but it’s Kikyo who speaks this time around.

"If we asked, would you kill him?" she asks, her expression unreadable through her visor, but Illumi can almost imagine her scrunched up brows to accompany her frown. Almost. It's been so long since he's seen his mother's face.

But Illumi almost laughs at the concept; the  _ idea _ that he wouldn’t do whatever his parents asked him to was a whimsical thought at best. He had that thought beat out of him by age four; he hasn’t tried to actively defy his parents like that in the past twenty-two years since.

"If I kill him after marriage, our contract is complete,” Illumi’s voice is clear and concise, but the next few sentences feel heavy in his mouth. “If he dies  _ at all _ , it's complete, but I… would rather be the one to commit the killing blow. So, I would if asked, but I would do it eventually as it were."

The silence that stretches on at this information leaves Illumi stiff and uncomfortable as his parents look him over. Silva frowns deeply, and Kikyo’s nose scrunches up as if she just smelled something rotten.

Arguably, this isn’t even the worst discussion that he has had with them.

“ _ Reconsider this _ , Illumi,” his mother starts, her nose still scrunched as she steps forward once. “We can get you a wife, if company is all you want. We can have a wedding. You can—”

“No.”

The interruption seems to surprise both Illumi and Kikyo, making the younger assassin’s expression something new to see for his parents. After all these years living under his roof, they're not sure they've ever seen him look confused. He schools his expression once more and pushes himself to continue.

“I will marry only Hisoka. I don't want a wedding, and I will later kill him and complete our contract. I won't discuss this further.”

Silva stands and stalks over to his son, who remains stock still even when his father puts a hand on his upper arm and  _ squeezes _ . In the silence of the room, the crackle of his humerus under the pressure is deafening, and Illumi mentally braces himself for the pain of a broken bone.

"What's all this about  _ no wedding? _ I thought you were joking about that, dear. You know how excited I was to see you in a wedding dress."

Illumi stiffens up, wide eyes going impossibly wider as he stares over his father’s shoulder at his husband-to-be. The other two assassins also freeze at the amused tone, and they each turn to stare at the man leaning in their doorway. He’d been silent, watching, and only now does Illumi realize with a start that Hisoka’s  _ In _ had been on ever since they arrived on the estate.

Under their gaze, Hisoka smirks and blows a bubble. It slowly inflates, and then pops with a loud smack. It annoys Illumi, and yet he can't seem to look away.

A few moments later, Amane comes running up behind him with the ugliest expression Illumi has ever seen her have. Even without  _ Gyo _ , all four adults in the room could see the massive glob of bungee gum that stuck to her side and left her hair gummed up.

“How did you manage to-” she starts to hiss, before straightening up when she sees the Zoldycks all staring at her. Hisoka gives her a wicked grin, and she scoffs quietly in return.

"Hisoka," Illumi starts, something off in his voice, "I thought I told you to stay put."

"What?" Hisoka tries to give his lover an innocent look. "I'm simply here to collect my fiancé before he gets caught in that cycle of abuse he loves to praise as  _ family. _ A broken arm before our honeymoon isn’t the most ideal situation."

The silence between all three Zoldycks is palpable; Amane is visibly tense, almost looking like she’s ready to run from the fight that’s about to break out.

Silva finally lets go of his son’s arm. Hisoka hums appreciatively as he watches his fiancé slowly step away from his father and towards Hisoka. The magician stretches his arms out in victory, as if Illumi will embrace him when he approaches, but his smile only grows when Illumi grabs his shirt and hauls him to the wall next to the doors, pinning him there. Their faces are mere inches apart, and very rarely is Hisoka blessed with seeing his lover so…  _ emotional. _

Sparing a glance over his lover's shoulder, the tenseness of his soon-to-be parents-in-law show that neither were  _ they _ .

Oh, how Hisoka was loving this.

"You are  _ not _ to speak about my family like that," Illumi hisses, barely controlled bloodlust rolling off of him in waves. Amane takes a step further back into the hallway, eyes wide, and Silva’s guard dog lets out a small growl at the release of aura. “You don’t know  _ anything _ about my family.”

Hisoka doesn't bother to suppress his shudder, his own golden eyes narrowing in delight. "I know  _ you _ , Illu. One can make  _ so _ many assumptions on  _ them _ by just taking a glance at  _ you _ ."

The assassin stiffens, and Hisoka can feel the fine points of Illumi’s nails dig into his skin even through the fabric of his top. “Your assumptions will get you  _ killed _ , Hisoka. Is that what you want?”

Hisoka blinks and then barks out a laugh. “Why, dear, that  _ is _ what our arrangement is about, isn’t it?”

Silence between the two stretches on, and Illumi can feel his eye twitch in annoyance. After a few long moments, Illumi drops his fiancé, who lands on his feet with far too much grace for someone Illumi  _ knows  _ must have gotten off on that display. The assassin’s face is carefully controlled before he turns towards his parents once more, stiff and uncomfortable as he tips his head at them.

“We’ll be leaving now. I apologize for wasting your time in trying to break my contract. Dad,” he starts, turning his attention directly towards Silva who had crossed his arms during Illumi’s display, “I will contact Milluki and have him send me my assignment.”

He waits for a response from his father, but there is none. Beside her husband, Kikyo presses her lips together and takes Silva’s arm. With a small sigh, Silva nods, and Illumi finally turns and exits the room without looking behind him to see if Hisoka followed.

The magician runs a hand through his hair as he watches his fiancé leave out of the corner of his eye. He then gives his future parents-in-law a grin and a bow.

“I’m sure I’ll have the pleasure of seeing you two once again. Hopefully it involves a bit more  _ fun. _ ”

Silva sighs again. “Hisoka?”

“Yes?”

“Get out of my home before I kill you myself.”

The magician’s grin widens. “With  _ pleasure _ .”

* * *

It was totally unnecessary for Silva to have summoned him back home to receive his next mission, Illumi soon found out. The only reason it took a week to finish was due to the speed of air travel; airships only flew so fast, Illumi discovered.

It was dark when Illumi finally arrived back at Heaven’s Arena, and the lights in Hisoka’s suite were off. The assassin steps out of his shoes at the door, and leaves the lights off as he pads about the area putting things away. It is eerily quiet, but he knows Hisoka is awake when he finally settles into bed, staring up at the ceiling.

“I hate you,” Illumi says into the dark without malice, the words feeling heavy on his tongue. He feels his fiancé turn over, and Illumi feels more than sees those gold eyes stare over at him.

“Do you?” Hisoka’s voice is quiet in his ear, and the teasing tone grates on Illumi’s nerves. After a long moment, Hisoka props himself up on his elbow, face in his hand as he reaches out and strokes the other’s cheek.

“I don’t think you’d agree to marry me if you did,” he murmurs, and in the dim light of the moon, he can see Illumi look away.

“It’s a-”

“A contract, I  _ know _ ,” Hisoka sighs, before leaning over and pressing a kiss to Illumi’s lips. It seems to startle the assassin, before he gives in and lets the magician kiss him. “It’s no wedding, but it’s still a contract.”

Illumi pulls away, pursing his lips. “We… can have a wedding. Just us. But I am not wearing a dress.”

Even in the dark, Illumi can see Hisoka’s devilish smile. “Perfect. And then the honeymoon-”

“Don’t get your hopes up.”

Hisoka just laughs, before pulling Illumi into his arms. The assassin stiffens, and then slowly relaxes in the redhead’s embrace.

“Whatever you say, dear.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) im SO SORRY for how long this took to get out, classes have been absolute hell for me  
> 2) was this going to have an actual wedding? yes. did it? no. oops!  
> 3) at some point during this i forgot where i was going so uh. if it makes no sense, oops x2


End file.
